whatMsg?

While reflecting on my relationship with my children, I came to the realization that though the word “mother” can conjure up so many different interactions, it almost feels strange to me to have the one word cover the relationship I have with each of my children.  While I am technically both of their mother, the relationship I have with K is so completely different than my relationship with A.  There is an obvious age and developmental difference driving some of the differences.  Then there are the personality differences between K and A.  These difference are also driving me to interact differently with each of the children, tailoring my “mothering” to these differences.  So these days I feel that I am a woman, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a wife, a mother and a mother.  That’s how different the relationship feels with each of my children- and they are barely 16 months apart in age and are both girls!  I think it has taken some valuable alone time with A while K is in school for me to notice the distinction.

Taking a drive with my kids is almost always enlightening.  I have noticed A become more and more verbal, but today, for the first time in the car she officially pointed out each and every thing she knows the name of.  Car, truck, park, light, bird, plane, house, bus, school, girl- and then “what’s that?” “and that?” for EVERYTHING else.  Poor K could hardly get a word in edgewise.  But when K did, she asked, for the first time, “Mis to utleb?” (What does that say?) while pointing to a sign in the Starbucks drive-through.  I told her that the sign says, “Starbucks coffee, Drive Thru.”  I think that means that I have to start working on those “See Jane run”-type books with her.  I’m also not sure how she knew that the sign says something.  While we practice letters and numbers together, I’ve not approached spelling and words with her myself.  Perhaps this is something she is picking up from school?  Either way, I’ll take the hint!  This also means more magnetic letters on the fridge and more sponge letter time in the tub.

A has entered a phase of incredible language development over the past two weeks.  She wants to know the names of everything and then is able to recall the words in the future on demand.  She is constantly pointing to things and saying, “And this?” or “What’s that?”  We look at lots of books together and A points and I give her the words or I ask her to point to something on the page.  She does a great job!  At this point, A is learning the Estonian words from me, and English from Daddy and a mix from K.  I don’t yet see evidence that she is aware of the fact that she is surrounded by two different languages though it can’t be far off anymore.  Generally, A isn’t saying too many phrases yet though she is learning “please” (palun) + whatever it is she wants.  The one exception is in singing.  While singing, A repeats multiple lines of songs which was a complete surprise to me when she did it all of a sudden earlier this week.

With all of this new language acquisition, K and A are able to play together in more sophisticated ways.   Mostly K directs the activity, and now A has no trouble understanding how/what K wants to play.  It’s fun to watch- though I am sure the discussions/arguments will get more sophisticated as well.

As for K, she is doing great in pre-school.  I have also come to realize that I think she is on the cusp of learning to tell time.  I didn’t even know she could read numbers though I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.  Somehow, she will say a time, say “kell on kaheksa” (it is 8 o’clock) and will then set the arms on our toy clock to 8 o’clock.  She even gets the big arm and small arm right.  Why I am so shocked by this is that I haven’t particulary been practicing this with her.  I need to keep in mind, kids are sponges at this age.  Either way, I am going to concentrate on letters, numbers and reading a bit more with K, something I haven’t really been doing.  But it appears she is ready.

This all gets me thinking that teachers sure have their work cut out for them if they have a wide range of abilities in a single classroom.  Trying to keep up with the different developmental requirements of an 18 month-old and almost 3 year-old is tough enough and I can  be accused of either dumbing down my interactions for all to understand or interacting way above the 18 month-old’s abilities just taking it for granted that she won’t understand.  The crazy thing is that they both understand way more than I give them credit for most of the time.

As of today, A officially knows “hot.”  The Estonian word is “kuum” but A says “hot” for anything that is warm or hot.  Fresh hard boiled egg, “hot.”  Pizza pocket, “hot.”  Bath water, “hot.”  But believe me, she has never met the real “hot” but I guess warm is close enough.  She also understands cold, but says the Estonian word, “külm” instead of cold.  As a sign of things to come, she is clearly choosing to use the word that she most often associates with something regardless of the language.  I say “külm” often in the mornings when I use a baby wipe on her warm, morning bum.  A also says “külm” for ice, so she gets it. So, for the time being, she is using two languages though I believe it can’t be too far off anymore when it clicks and she realizes she knows two languages.  Imagine speaking two languages and not knowing it?