whatMsg?

Well, my oldest daughter, at 3 years and 2 weeks is finally potty trained.  After 3 months of pull-ups, frustration, tears, Reese’s Pieces, stickers and messes we got there and it wasn’t at all what I expected.  Here’s our journey.  At 2 years of age, she was using the potty fairly consistently- for a month.  I think it was just a novelty, and it wore off.  We kept asking K if she needed to use the potty and frequently put her on it, but nothing.  Then at 2 and a half, we tried the potty/underwear-no-diapers weekend.  All we got for our efforts of putting her on the potty every hour was a mess ever 55 minutes or so and almost nothing in the potty.  We gave up.  The in July, 3 months shy of K’s third birthday, we got out the pull-ups, Reese’s Pieces (2 for every pee pee, 3 for a poopie) and sticker board (a sticker for every successful potty time).  She started going successfully a couple times a day, even in public restrooms when necessary but never poopie and never all day long.  The following 3 months were probably my most frustrating ever as a parent.  I had a smart little girl who just wouldn’t use the potty all the time mostly because it was inconvenient I think.  Finally, a week after her birthday, at 11 am on a Tuesday I reached my breaking point.  How did she not get it already! Out came the underwear and gone were the diapers.  That week she had just 4 pee pee accidents, pretty much one a day for the first 4 days.  Two indoors and two outdoors.  K got to watch me clean up the mess and stand in her wet pants until the mess was cleaned up- and she hated the wet pants and underwear.  She was allowed to take them off- but didn’t even want to touch the wetness and just stood there crying.  Like I said, this only happened 4 times.  The poopie was a whole other matter, every day, in the underwear.  Ewwwwww. The worst stuff- and she didn’t like it either.  Good thing for Halloween candy in the house waiting for trick-or-treaters.  I bribed poopie in the potty using those great little mini square candy bars they have now  (Reese’s is still for pee pee) and money in her piggy bank.  Yes, how low could I sink, but what can I say, it is Thursday and my daughter’s last accident of any kind was on Sunday.  She is wearing underwear all day, even to pre-schoool and while she wears pull-ups at night. They have been dry every night.  She is doing it and no one is more proud that K!

What I have learned:

• Treats work
• IQ and potty training are mutually exclusive
• Messes are inevitable
• The child has to be ready
• Just make a clean break- no going back to diapers no matter how bad it gets- trust me, I was tempted!
• Looking down into a porta-potty toilet in inevitable as you are holding your child on the toilet paper plastered seat and it is truly awful.

Yesterday on the way home from school, K points out a little girl Gloria walking home from school with her uncle and tells me, “Gloria doesn’t know what words are.”  It took me a couple seconds before I understood what she was telling me.  K was telling me that Gloria doesn’t speak English very well yet and is one of the children who speaks a language other than English at home.  I asked K if she helps Gloria with her words and she told me that she likes to help Gloria.  It never ceases to amaze me how observant children are and how they understand seemingly complicated intangible concepts perfectly well.

For the past 8 days the girls, Daddy and I visited my parents.  This involved 6 hours on an airplane each way.  The good news is that we had the best flights ever.  The girls were great and for the most part, the travels were painless and not unpleasant.  A is picking up new words like crazy and the timing was great for her to be exposed to more Estonian speaking other than just K and me.  As far as I can tell A still doesn’t know she speaks two languages, though she is getting close.  Or maybe she already knows and I am a step behind, as usually, in noticing A’s development.  Either way, she is doing very well, follows instructions in two languages and we have no communication issues at all.  We understand each other very well in two languages which is all I could ask for at this point.

K is still mostly speaking to everyone in English, though with the added Estonian language exposure, perhaps was saying a bit more in Estonian.  K still speaks to A entirely in English and I am not quite sure how I can change that though it is something I want to work on.  I just have to be careful not to nag and just to offer occassional, friendly reminders to try to get them started. This is clearly my next challenge.

What mother of toddlers can write a blog and not include toilet training?  So, we are full force in potty training mode around here and it is an interesting journey that I can’t wait to be over.  It’s exhausting.  Diapers are easier.  Can they just wear diapers and change themselves?  K started going to the potty at 2 years old, for a month.  Then nothing for 7 months until we decided to make another concerted go of it.  3 potties, two toilet inserts, 2 bags of Reese’s Pieces, more than $10 worth of stickers and we are still at it.  K is great with pee pee in the toilet, even public toilets are no problem.  Poop is a whole other matter and she has only gone number 2 three times in the pottie.  The kicker is that A, at 18 months old LOVES the potty and goes kaki (poopie) in the potty but not pee pee.  So there they sit, the ever enthusiastic A who can’t wait to go kaki in the pottie and a reluctant K going pee pee.  It’s the cutest thing when A is sitting on her pottie and grabs the other pottie and tells K to “sit here, right here” and slams the other pottie down right next to her.  Either way, despite it feeling like it’s a bit early, I am regularly working with A on the potty now too since she is interested and excited and I don’t want to miss the opportunity.

So, I figure I’ll keep working at it since between the two of them, I have one fully toilet trained toddler. It might be too much to hope for, but perhaps by the end of the year we’ll be a diaper free house.  (I can’t believe I dared type those words!)

An update since I first wrote this post in the AM- A did her first pee pee in the potty today!   It would be just too weird if my 18 month old is toilet trained before my just about 3 year old.